Well I did warn in the title there would be a double header of book reviews so lets get to it! Welcome to my fourth book review of the book “Futuristic Crimes and Fancy Suits” by David Wong. A light read of 372 pages. If the name David Wong sounds familiar don’t worry he does have more than one book: “This Book is Full of Spiders” and “John Dies at the End” which was actually turned into a movie. I actually had not heard of Wong’s other books or that one was a movie before I read “Futuristic Crimes and Fancy Suits”, I saw this book on Amazon in the recommended section for Welcome to Night Vale.
Overview: As the title says the theme of the book is futuristic crimes and people who do wear fancy suits. Zoey Ashe, a young woman in her early 20’s living in the trailer trash outskirts of rural Colorado is about to have her life changed by the death of her father, Arthur Livingston who never really bothered to be in her life. Arthur has left his entire fortune to Zoey which is worth billions of dollars of dirty money. Zoey now must travel to Tubla Ra$a, a city of no rules and the rich indulge in the under belly that thrives to claim her inheritance before bounty hunters with god-like powers hired by her father’s nemesis kill her. Joining Zoey is her father’s four main coworkers called The Suits and together can they help Zoey claim her inheritance and clean the mess her dad left behind or will she be brutally murdered before then?
My Opinion: Ugh, as painful it is for me to give a bad rating it pains me even more with having read this book so with that I give this book 2.5 out of 5 stars. I originally was going to give it 3 out 5 but I’m still disappointed at the book.
“Futuristic Crimes and Fancy Suits” was very simple and straight to the point with the plot, no sidetracking or side quests for Zoey. The plot was pretty good with a good action story to it. As bad as a review I gave it I did really love the beginning of the “Futuristic Crimes and Fancy Suits”, Wong threw the reader right into the action, and it was such fast paced action I was really impressed and got really excited. The action of the book doesn’t really stop till about a quarter into the book, but then it got slow to catch the reader up with context and back story. Which is fine but because there was such fast paced action the slow part was like walking with 50lb weights attached to your feet. There are more action scenes in the book which move the story along but there began to be less and less and they were smaller and smaller scenes as compared to the beginning and has more talking parts.
Zoey at first was so cool, I thought she was one of the coolest female protagonist I ever read. She was an average girl when it came to looks who was smart, witty, rebellious, and well grounded. However the further in the story the more annoying she was and lost the cool parts about her and then I stopped liking her in general. I understand that Zoey was going through circumstances that was new to her and scary but still she became an annoying helpless girl. Especially when it came unnecessary romance with Zoey and her body guard (it’s ok to roll your eyes, I did), I will say it wasn’t like the typical romance like “The Hunger Games” and “Twilight” where Zoey had two guys to choose from fighting for her. But it was a step below it.
My favorite character that stayed the same through the entire book was Will Blackwater, one of the Suits that worked for Zoey’s father. Will however was more important than the rest of The Suits and was Arthur’s right hand man. Will was a very sly, dangerous, mysterious man which made him the best part of the book. If this book was ever to be a movie either George Clooney or Jon Hamm need to play the role and no one else!!
The ending for me sucked, I hated it, I have nothing good to say about it. At this point in the book I really didn’t care for Zoey. If she died I would have accepted that and would have said thank god I don’t have to listen to her talk! For the most part of the ending it was small action scenes and so much talking about Zoey being scared and other stuff that I just keep thinking get to the damn point or final action scene. As much as I hate doing this, I skipped chapters. I skipped 5-7 chapters (the chapters were no long in this book) because it was just Zoey and the group just talking about the final battle plans, emotions and it was so boring and terrible. When it did come to the final battle I just skimmed it because I didn’t want to deal with “Futuristic Crimes and Fancy Suits” anymore. I’m disappointed because “Futuristic Crimes and Fancy Suits” lost its excitement that it had in the beginning. I have read tons of books where there was tons of conversations parts and a mix of action parts but “Futuristic Crimes and Fancy Suits” was not exciting anymore. Just an annoying girl name Zoey just going through an adventure with boring, annoying, whiny conversations. Anyway read “Futuristic Crimes and Fancy Suits” if you want I don’t exactly recommend it, since it doesn’t get better after the beginning.
Image credit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Futuristic-Violence-Fancy-Suits-David/dp/1250040191